13 rappers we’d love to see as video game characters

In the early 2000s, there was a golden era of hip-hop fighting video games. Def Jam and Electronic Arts got together and licensed musical artists to appear in games that allowed you to get in the ring as one of your favorite rappers. First came Def Jam Vendetta in 2003. Then there was Def Jam: Fight for NY. They were classics.

But on Wednesday, New Orleans’ Curren$y Spitta got us to thinking. He was apparently just having a session and thinking, when it occurred to him that rapper Desiigner looks like something he’s seen before.

Based upon this premise, it’s time for someone to create an updated version of the original roster that included Busta Rhymes, Ludacris, Lil Kim, Redman, Method Man, N.O.R.E. and DMX among many. Desiigner, the man responsible for Panda, is just one of many we’d love to see in the ring on the sticks. Let’s run down the list.


Curren$y

(Photo by Johnny Nunez/WireImage)

(Photo by Johnny Nunez/WireImage)

Obviously, he has to be involved if only because he’ll probably the one that makes it happen. He’d have an array of super dope outfits and could whoop you without even getting his sneakers dirty. Come to think of it, he’d probably make the title track to this game, too.

Wiz Khalifa

(Photo by Tabatha Fireman/Getty Images for Red Bull)

(Photo by Tabatha Fireman/Getty Images for Red Bull)

Standing at 6-foot-4, he obviously would be a character with quite a bit of reach. And that sinister, yet hearty, laugh would certainly come out after any victory. His finishing move would obviously be called the “Taylor Gang” in which he drops a hot bar, then his squad appears from nowhere and brutalizes the opponent.

Pitbull

(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

Dressed in all white, Mr. Worldwide would clearly be the one that pummels you to death with fist pumps and foot stomps. His finishing move, “Dale,” would involve a grand buildup after which the force of the music from the drop would instantly floor you, while the rest of the crowd just danced around your lifeless body.

Lil Wayne

(Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images for Samsung)

(Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images for Samsung)

Armed with a skateboard and getting extra power from various Styrofoam cups of liquid, Wayne would be a formidable character. Although a tad diminutive, he’d use that to his advantage by being able to duck your short-range attacks. Plus his grill makes for a nearly impenetrable defense system.

Future

(Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage)

(Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage)

The key is to pay attention to the hat. It would serve as a Peaky Blinders type weapon (or Oddjob from James Bond for our older readers), which would be devastating from long range. That and his dance moves would also double as defensive dodges in the ring.

2 Chainz

(Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images)

(Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images)

His weaponry is in his name, but you’ve got to go to the Bands A Make Her Dance remix to figure out his real tool of precision: four bracelets. With all this jewelry shining on you and coming at you, he’s almost impossible to get at. Let us also not forget that Mr. Chainz also played college basketball, so his hops would off the charts.

Fetty Wap

(Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Firefly)

(Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Firefly)

A one-eyed guy from New Jersey that rides motorcycles and ATVs? Yeah, he’s making the list. I have no idea what his powers would be, or why. But he would be the default character if you chose to play in story mode, just because.

Remy Ma

(Photo by John Ricard/Getty Images)

(Photo by John Ricard/Getty Images)

Wielding the most vicious door-knocker earrings you’ve ever seen in your life, if you even get close to her face, expect a serious clapback. Her natural defensive stance, obviously, is the Lean Back making it nearly impossible to actually connect on any offensive charges.

Iggy Azalea

(Photo by Mike Lewis Photography/Redferns)

(Photo by Mike Lewis Photography/Redferns)

Scissors, folks. Scissors. Remember when she said she’d go full Lorena Bobbitt if she caught her then-man Nick Young cheating? Yeah, she’s about that action. So, good luck avoiding those blades when you’re trying to level up.

Action Bronson

(Photo by: Lloyd Bishop/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

(Photo by: Lloyd Bishop/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

This is the guy you face right before the boss levels. At home in a kitchen that doubles as a recording studio, he’d have an arsenal of knives, pots and mics to swing your way and get you hemmed up in his web. His finishing move would be a delicious meal that you ate thinking you were regaining power but, alas, you were being poisoned.

DJ Khaled – First Boss

 (Photo by Steven Lawton/Getty Images)

(Photo by Steven Lawton/Getty Images)

This is obvious. With a keychain full of major keys, unlocking this man’s defense is unlikely. Just imagine him firing those things at you while yelling, “Another one!” the whole time. Then when you’re finally defeated, he hits you with his tagline: “Congratulations, you played yourself.”

Kanye West – Second Boss

(Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)

(Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)

Able to embody everyone else’s fighting styles, West’s strategy is to make you think he’s doing one thing, then devastate you with an entirely different approach you’ve never seen. Dressed in overpriced rags, it’s tough to get a grip on him. But if you can disrupt his creative process long enough then you can find yourself at the biggest boss of them all …

GUCCI MANE AKA BIG GUWOP

(Photo by Prince Williams/FilmMagic)

(Photo by Prince Williams/FilmMagic)

You had to know this was coming. If you think there is anyone that embodies rap video game super boss more than the Atlanta supernova, you’re bugging. Here’s how it would go: At first, you’d get a tough, wiry six-packed Gucci that hits you with his prison fighting skills at close range. Then, after you defeated him and you think you’ve won the game, up from the ashes rises Spring Breakers Gucci, who rains ice cream cones down from the sky, all controlled by his face tattoo. If you can avoid or consume the dizzying volume of mixtapes and albums he throws at you all the while, only then are you victorious.

Please, someone, make this game happen.

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