Cam Newton came to Baltimore, and it wasn’t pretty We’re gonna need a course correction, son!

Only one thing could pull me away from watching Miss Simone Biles on Thursday night capture the gold medal in the women’s gymnastics individual all-around competition in Rio de Janeiro. That would be the appearance in these Twitter streets of a high-profile fashion crime. Thursday’s unfortunate victim: Cameron Jerrell Newton. As we have seen time and again, the Carolina Panthers quarterback often looks pretty damn amazing. But he’s also been known to make very questionable clothing decisions. Cam, would you please stop playing with my fashion writer emotions and focus?

Honestly, this particular outfit had me feeling concerned. Thursday night was the NFL preseason opener, and the Panthers traveled to hot-and-sweaty Charm City to match up against the Baltimore Ravens. Should have been an easy game for the Panthers, who are the NFC defending champions. Newton, lest we forget, is still the league’s legit reigning MVP. And yet, here he is coming off the team bus looking like he’s going to sleepaway theater camp in the Canadian Rockies. Newton has sworn off dabbing, and (we think) rapper/producer Pharrell has finally sworn off that hat, so let’s call it even. Wait. Dude, are those Capezios? When is tight Superman shirt-wearing Cam or tight Versace pants-wearing Cam going to make a triumphant return? Until that happens, we’ll just have to reminisce on this and this. Fashion prayers going up!

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